Children feel the need to ask questions, at almost any age. This is natural for them. Small children ask you questions because want to better understand something. As they grow up, they want to see why do adults perceive some things as being important, and they also want to understand why they are supposed to think and feel in a certain way. No matter at what age, your child has to understand that the house they live in has very clear rules, which are not questionable at all, and which they need to follow.
Smaller children usually do not understand, for example, the reason why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house, or why they cannot play outside at night. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that is not satisfactory for the child, and all it does is to further frustrate him. One special topic tackles children and divorce, but this is a very delicate issue, so we are going to treat it in a separate article.
Teenagers will probably require more from your explanation, because they really want to understand your reasoning. When they question why to do or why not to do something. it’s best to straight forward state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to leave for vacation very early in the morning, as we have a very long way to go.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reinforce the consequences of ignoring the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be punished for a week, with interdiction of visiting your friend.” Be consistent and clear, in order to avoid generation confusion.
If your child would try to contest a rule, or to ask why it’s been put into place, you can be happy. It means he’s growing up, and it shows a mature way of thinking. Don’t get frustrated, and remember the questions you used to ask when you were a teenager. Many causes of teenage drinking come from the lack of communication and understanding.