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Between Jobs

  • Posted on February 14, 2008 at 2:19 am

Poky is an architect by trade. After the graduation, he worked as an interior designer for two years. Bad salary, long hours, little professional satisfaction, he got tired. He decided to leave the company and to look for other, more challenging, job.
He attended at few interviews with no result and he ran out of money. Even in that situation, Poky didn’t accept a job under his standards.

Three months he survived out of borrowing money from the friends and family. Having lots of time on his hands, he became a TV fan. In order for him to see more movies, he had to pay to obtain HBO channel. The subscription tax was more than he could pay. But, because Romania has an illegal solution for each problem, he went on the black market and he bough a cheap device which allowed him to watch the desired channel.

Poky saw many movies and, again, he got tired. To get out from boredom, he decided to commercialize himself the devices.
First, he bough lots of them. Second, he bought a small table and chair. Than, he made a placard on which he wrote “HBO Company”.

In the morning, Poky went in the market and installed his gears. He sold enough to earn his food. Encouraged by “the success”, the men did a job out of this occupation. He used to tell us “I’m going to work tomorrow, my friends. I can’t stay late in the night with you. I have a job now. I’m in the public relations business”.

Of course, he went at the market only when he was in the mood to. Some days, he started at 9 o’clock, other days at 11 o’clock.

The customers started to complain at the other tradesmen in the neighborhood: “Why doesn’t this men having a proper program?”

To put an end to these complains, Poky, wrote on a piece of paper, his program “I COME WHEN YOU LESS EXPECTED.”
The “business” went O.K. for six months. One day, the government people came to check the authorizations of the tradesmen. Fortunately, he was not there at that hour. But, he found out from his “mates”.

Starting with the next day, Poky declared bankruptcy.

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When No Answer Is Good Enough For Your Child

  • Posted on February 11, 2008 at 3:43 am

Children feel the need to ask questions, at almost any age. This is natural for them. Small children ask you questions because want to better understand something. As they grow up, they want to see why do adults perceive some things as being important, and they also want to understand why they are supposed to think and feel in a certain way. No matter at what age, your child has to understand that the house they live in has very clear rules, which are not questionable at all, and which they need to follow.

Smaller children usually do not understand, for example, the reason why they aren’t allowed to play ball in the house, or why they cannot play outside at night. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks “Why?” or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that is not satisfactory for the child, and all it does is to further frustrate him. One special topic tackles children and divorce, but this is a very delicate issue, so we are going to treat it in a separate article.

Teenagers will probably require more from your explanation, because they really want to understand your reasoning. When they question why to do or why not to do something. it’s best to straight forward state your reasoning. “I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to leave for vacation very early in the morning, as we have a very long way to go.” It is also a great opportunity for you to reinforce the consequences of ignoring the rule. “If you are not home by 10 p.m., you’ll be punished for a week, with interdiction of visiting your friend.” Be consistent and clear, in order to avoid generation confusion.

If your child would try to contest a rule, or to ask why it’s been put into place, you can be happy. It means he’s growing up, and it shows a mature way of thinking. Don’t get frustrated, and remember the questions you used to ask when you were a teenager. Many causes of teenage drinking come from the lack of communication and understanding.

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Sharing The Heritage: Part 6

  • Posted on February 8, 2008 at 7:36 am

This is how things went on after those last events.

I stopped talking to my relatives.

I called a topographist to assess the situation directly.

Of course, they found out.

They told to my mother that this is not a way to live in the same yard. They want to fix the problems in the documents.
They called other topographist to do the measurements. I asked him that we also want to be writing on the new documents, our right to use the well. He agreed. He left with my aunt to Zalau. Don’t know what they talked on the way, but one think is sure: the man did not make a sketch with a pass to the well. He just draws the well.
My aunt lifted the mortgage of the 46 stolen m.

My mother asked if the sketches are ready for them to sign the documents. Week after week a new problem appeared. Three months later she said that she doesn’t go back to the bank to lift the mortgage of the 2-m. of land where the well is. I said that is not acceptable to remake the documents without respecting the law.

She blackmailed my mother saying: “I will do nothing else. If you don’t want like this, take us to court.”

As you know, our justice functions slow and partially, when it functions at all. My mother is old and sick. She said that is better like this than nothing.

She signs again a bad document.

Wait for them to cut us the water supply!

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Listen To Your Child Actively

  • Posted on February 6, 2008 at 7:52 am

Communicating with children is many times hard, if not impossible. Children never listen (at least we so imagine); they feel like we are in fact the ones who don’t listen. There’s no successful parenting without communication and listening skills, the parent has to develop. Your child is a human being, with feelings, thoughts, opinions, so you shouldn’t ignore those and pretend obedience and good behavior. Children need to express themselves, they need to be listened to, they need communication partners.

It is in the human nature to react rather than to respond. We pass judgment based on our own feelings and experiences, and we don’t give a damn about our child’s ones. But what does it really mean, responding? It means being receptive to our children’s emotions. It means granting them the right to express their thoughts openly, without fear of consequences from us. By reacting, we invalidate the feelings and opinions of the child. Active and responsive listening opens a dialog that allows them to open up even more, so you’ll be able to discover what is behind those feelings and beliefs. Besides, the child will feel like being understood, which gives him a comfort and a feeling of wellbeing, which are very important for strengthening your relationship with him.

When your child comes to talk with you about a problem, you should focus all your attention on him. Leave aside anything else for a half an hour. Nobody would die because of that, and you’ll give your child a trust feeling and a support he needed in the first place, when he came to talk to you.
Don’t discourage your child from negative feelings like anger, frustration or fear. Our initial instinct may be to tell them these are not good and not normal, but all we do is to grow him up unprepared for life. He will suffer any time somebody around him will get angry or frustrated, and he will have his feelings hurt. However, you can indicate your child some possible solutions to make the bad feeling go away.

Children have their own problems. For us, they might seem not important, but be sure that for them they are as important as it is for us the fact that we lost our job (only to give you one example). So, listen to your children and give them comfort. You are a parent, so behave like one.

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Sharing The Heritage: Part 5

  • Posted on February 4, 2008 at 7:33 am

This is how the heritage story goes on:

  • They asked my to read the documents where it shows how was shared the land. I will see then that for my to go from the house to our part of the land, I had to go from behind the house.
  • They are doing my favor allowing my to go on the proper pass to rich our land.
  • Also, the land from the gate to the center of the yard is there’s and they allowed my trucks with woods to go in, out of the goodness of their hard.

I knew that the law allowed all the proprietary to pass on a 60 cm. common pass to their lands. The same law stipulates that all the proprietary can use the gate. I readied the documents and, surprise: they were not made according to the law! And not only in that matter.

I called a lawyer and a topographist in Bucharest and told them about the conflict, about the documents.

I found out that my aunt and uncle stole 46 m. from our share in the yard, and increased with them our share in the garden.

I also found out that on the documents should appear the common use roads from the gates to each one’s land, the common use of the well.

When they heard from our neighbour about my inquiries, they rushed to the bank and they mortgaged their land.

Do you think this is nice? Wait to see some more of it.

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